New year, new goals

We here at Political Pork & Beans realize the cultural importance of marking each new year. Therefore, we resolve to better ourselves through a series of resolutions that we hope will make even more readers flock to this blog throughout the new year.

The following resolutions were decided upon after much debate and prayer, and were not just spit out on a lazy Dec. 31 with our legs resting on a desk as we watch the clock. The resolutions are:

Be more snarky. While PPB prides itself on our wit and witticism, we realize that sometimes we're not as snarky as we could be. Expect more offensive diatribes mocking people of all faiths, creeds and political backgrounds in the upcoming year.

Focus on more sex scandals. Everyone likes a good scandal, right? That's doubly true if there's sex involved. We resolve to write more about politicians' perversions in 2009, even if it means making stuff up.

Support more crazy beliefs. We are already staunch supporters of some pretty foolish ideas, but in the coming year we resolve to put our weight behind some really wacked out notions. These include the fair tax, third parties and the 10th Amendment.

Happy New Year.

What the Blago is going on?

Politics can sometimes be like a back-alley fight. Even in the public spotlight, and regardless of what kind of suits they're wearing, the gloves will come off.

Rod Blagojevich's recent appointment of Roland Burris to Obama's empty Senate seat is such a swipe. Blago's got his back against the wall. Enemies from both sides of the aisle are slowly, methodically advancing on him. He will lose, regardless of whether he admits to that.

But he's not going down without a few swings of his own.

The appointment serves no good purpose, except as fodder for yellow journalism blogs such as mine. Illinois' secretary of state has said he won't certify the appointment and the Senate will refuse to seat Burris, who appears to be an all-around OK kinda guy.

So, what does this whole brouhaha turn into from here? Could be a switch to a debate on race, with those who stir pots using Burris' denial to what's essentially an all-white club as an attack.

That probably won't fly. This will likely just deflect a little bit of the heat off of Blago for a short while.

Unfortunately for him, it'll come back with a vengeance and the Burris appointment will only serve as more fuel for the fire - or the swinging fists.

Beyond Thunderdome

As I've said before, news is weak the last two weeks of the year. Most people are just putting in the hours at the office or are lucky enough to be sitting at home with family or on a beach with a mistress.

However, we've got a few tidbits to look at this year - Blago's slow descent, Caroline Kennedy's desperate grasp for power and this guy's belief that America will self-destruct sometime in 2010.

Um, really? I know things are kinda bad right now but do ya really think the country will implode around June or July 2010?

This guy does, and he's even gone so far as to designate portions of the country that will divide into separate little nations. Alaska, you betcha, goes back to the Russians.

Doomsayers and seers have been around since biblical days, and they always seem to get a bit more traction when things really do look dim. Igor Panarin, however, takes a worthy swipe at some straws by noting a White House PR flak saying "no comment" to a question about his theory and a political scientist he says correctly predicted the fall of Russia 15 years before it happened.

If that makes Panarin a genius, so be it. I think it makes him a guy who honestly has a beef with America and wants a little press.

Now, if he wants to put some money on his belief then I'm up for it. Of course, our wager has to be in American dollars. This way, if I lose it doesn't really matter...

Cameflop?

When born with a silver spoon in your mouth, expect some scrutiny. Also, stop whining about the media. It's unseemly.

Case in point: Caroline Kennedy, who I suspect lounges around marble-tiled halls on Martha's Vineyard waiting for governors to anoint her a senator. Take a look at this Foxnews story, which gets to the gem of an interview with Kennedy about two-thirds of the way through:

"Have you guys ever thought about writing for, like, a woman's magazine or something?" she asked, to which the reporter countered by asking what she has against women's magazines?
"Nothing at all, but I thought you were the crack political team here," she answered.

A reporter had asked Kennedy to remember the moment she decided she wanted to be a senator, and for some reason that ticked Kennedy off. For me, it shows that she's not ready for the big time. Asking her to recall when she made the decision wasn't exactly a hard-hitting question. If that rubbed her the wrong way, I wonder what subcommittee meetings in the bowels of the Senate will do.

I think Kennedy has about as much experience in office as a third-grader in a calculus class. New York needs a senator that will work for them, not someone with a famous name who for some reason dislikes "Harper's Bazaar."

Peace and joy, come to you

And a Merry Christmas, too. At least, that's what author and famed atheist Richard Dawkins would say if he were here.

This article linked from fark has Dawkins, author of "The God Delusion," explaining his celebration of the holiday, including singing Christmas carols. And not those lame, secular carols, either. Dawkins is talking about the old school, sit-your-butt-in-a-church-for-hours type of carols.

He also likes giving gifts, but hey, who doesn't?

It should be noted that Dawkins is married to Lalla Ward, a former companion to Doctor Who in the 70s.

Whether that's evidence of a God or not, who can tell?

Christmas week roundup

Alright, Christmas is just two days away and news is getting a little slow, in my opinion. Even embattled governors like to sip some eggnog by a roaring fire and get away from the accusations for a spell.

So before the media takes a nap over the long weekend, let's see what stories we can expect to hear more on when Monday comes around:

An internal probe from the Obama camp found the president-elect's chief of staff had a few talks with Gov. Blago, but everything was completely above board. Hurmph. I guess they weren't going to come out and point any fingers, so no surprises here. I'd like to see what an outside investigation shows. Maybe we can get some good drama before Obama takes office...

And speaking about Obama drama, did ya see those photographs of him topless? Yowza. Obama walks on the beach and the paparazzi is there. Finally, we have a hot president. Will he sport the same attire in the Oval Office? If only Robb's celebrities Web site was still up...

And while half-naked photos of Obama might be stale fare by Monday, we'll probably keep hearing more on President Bush passing out pardons before he leaves office. He dished out 19 recently, though he's still way behind his predecessors.

Give him time. He's still got a few weeks left in him.

You stupid blog

Here in paradise, I have loads of free time to sit around and just surf the net, looking for whatever may come my way. It's a good life.

Because of my copious amounts of free time, I was fortunate enough to stumble across this little gem of a blog - the Rebellion Blog. Here's their cute tag explaining their wackjob beliefs:

Current events and commentary from a Southern perspective. The most powerful political forces of our time -- localism, secession, and confederalism -- vindicate the Southern Cause.

And, yes, it's written by someone with ties to Selma, Ala. How did you guess?

The views within are what I expected - a pathetic belief in secession, a hatred of a powerful federal government and a poorly veiled racism that the author tiredly tries to turn around on any and every minority he possibly can think of.

"I'm not the racist," the thought goes. "No, it's the Congressional Black Caucus. They're really the bad guys."

Yeah, and it's affirmative action and it's anything with the word "diversity" in it. He's even got a link to an article about how the current recession can be traced to minorities, so of course it's the "diversity recession."

But he's not racist. Not really, right?

These guys love spouting off their foolish arguments every chance they get. Luckily, there's less of them than there were and I optimistically believe their numbers will continue to fall.

So, good luck to you, heroes of a fallen era. Keep fighting a battle that you lost more than 100 years ago.

And I'll keep calling you stupid.

Inside the evil mind of Dick Cheney

Unapologetic, highly partisan and run by a heart connected to wires, Dick Cheney let his views be known on several subjects on Sunday during an interview.

First, he lashed out at Congress for failing to bail out automakers. This, of course, is because arch-conservatives have strong beliefs in small government, fiscal responsibility and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. Naturally, this means Cheney wants to give out government cash like a Democrat in heat.

Hypocrite? J'accuse you, Dick Cheney.

It wasn't all serious business, of course. Cheney also talked about Sarah Palin, about whom not much serious can be said. Does she have what it takes to carry the Republican mantle to victory in 2012? Cheney said she'd have to earn it like anyone else.

Read: not a chance.

And what I think is the best - a reference to him dropping the f-bomb on the Senate floor in 2004. Cheney said he and Sen. Patrick Leahy have since patched things up.

I don't see how anyone can get real worked up about this one. Politicians typically deserve much worse language being tossed at them.

Surely, you aren't serious

What is it with people trying to question Obama's nationality?

Come on, is this the best you can do? Is this your preferred method in your pathetic attempts to stop the guy that was elected president from taking office?

I give you a C+. The plus is for having the Supreme Court actually consider your arguments.

Here they are - that Obama is perhaps a citizen of Kenya or maybe some Southeast Asian country.

Good try, but Obama's birth certificate kind of kills that.

Yes, but what if the birth certificate were faked? Well, Hawaiian officials have declared that they have no doubt it's authentic.

Well, then, those officials are no doubt in league with the foreigner who has won the presidency of our great nation! He's no doubt from Azeroth - a distant land from which all manner of charlatans and magicians hail.

Obama will no doubt release a mighty yawp upon taking the oath of office, discard his illusory mask and reveal himself to be the beast with two backs we've all heard so much about - an Azerothian candidate that's pulled wool over all our eyes.

So, to all you loopy conspiracy theorists out there - try not to pout too much come Jan. 20.

PPB Focus: Michigan Senate recount

With all the recent talk of Obama's cabinet picks, Caroline Kennedy getting a Senate seat because of her last name and the destruction of the American economy, I thought it'd be nice to turn the page over to Michigan's recount.

What's that, you say? You haven't thought about this in a while? Hey, who has? Norm Coleman and funnyman Al Franken's camps have been battling over a minuscule amount of votes since Nov. 4, desperately trying to scrape up enough to win or, alternatively, enough to ensure the other guy loses. It's drudgery, tedious and not even Franken's hare krishna skit could liven it up.

Let's take a look: Franken thinks he's only 192 votes behind - a number that can conceivably be beat, if some 200 votes that Coleman said have been double counted are tossed into the mix.

What's next: More tediousness, recounts, arguing over every single little tiny detail that could possibly sway the election one way or the other. In short, the American way.

Who throws a shoe, honestly?

You've all heard the story by now - disgruntled journalist throws shoes at a surprisingly lithe President Bush, gets tackled by security, becomes instead cult hero.

Here's what one avid fan said of shoe-thrower Muntadhar al-Zeidi in this story:

"All Iraqis should be proud of this Iraqi brave man, Muntadhar. History will remember him forever."

Um, really? Guy chucks his shoes at the president out of anger/angst/unhappiness and he deserves Superman status? I guess heroes are in such short supply overseas that they'll promote anyone, even footwear warriors.

But let's dissect this cute little moment in history for a second. Some hoser displays his political fervor in an act of defiance and is glorified by many tired of U.S. forces being in Iraq. One group gives him a medal.

Look at the larger picture and ask - what of noteworthiness has this guy accomplished? Why should he be a hero?

I understand the value of voicing dissent. Good on ya for doing so. But why should that warrant hero status? Regardless of nationality, don't you want your heroes to accomplish great deeds? The story says many in the Middle East love Che. Well, at least Che did something, he was part of something bigger than him.

This guy threw some shoes and people are ready to stick him on a pedestal.

Honestly?

Attack of the Kennedys

Look, I understand that in the absence of a senator, that state's governor gets to name a successor.

Fine. It's the rules, and we gotta live by them. But being an incumbent brings certain advantages, meaning whoever gets the nod to fill Hillary Clinton's seat gets a leg up on staying in office come election time.

And that brings me to Caroline Kennedy, who's been mentioned as a possible fit to the empty chair. An attorney, her whole life in the public eye, one might think she'd be great to grace the Senate halls.

But I have to ask - haven't we had enough Kennedys in office? Hey, I hate to be a downer here, but didn't we want to be our own nation partially because of a failed feudal system?

Oh, I'm using hyperbole, you say? Whatever. JFK got the word "Camelot" attached to him, the whole family has essentially become American royalty and I don't like the idea of so much power being concentrated in one family.

I understand it's human nature to consolidate such power. Noble houses did a pretty good job of it. However, I don't like the idea of continuing that tradition no matter how much good any particular person, or family, might do.

If the people of New York choose to elect Caroline, fine. But let her earn it like any other politician. Don't just hand her the seat, bow your head and scuttle away like some peon.

We've come a little farther than that.

You saw this one coming

A breaking FoxNews update:

Congress whittled down the Secretary of State's salary so Hillary Clinton can take the mantle. They have to do it, if Hillz is going to take the job, because the constitution restricts those trying to climb the money tree on the public's dollar.

We wrote about this earlier, saying those on both ends of the spectrum were a bit off. Some sniffed at the mere thought that Congress might have to dirty itself by abiding by the law. The other side screamed a violation of the constitution, declaring Hillary would be in Obama's cabinet when cats and dogs lived together.

As usual, views on the edges are caricatures of reality. The salary was dropped with little to no fanfare, and Hillary will become the nation's newest secretary of state.

It's kind of funny how the news works, isn't it? When the subject is first broached, it's spread across the front pages. When Congress actually does it, it's a little brief halfway down the page on Fox's Web site.

It's all about power, baby

Sex and money are the handmaidens of power. I made that up just now. Sounds good, doesn't it?

We can see that in scandals throughout the past year. Eliot Spitzer's fall from the governorship because of his tryst with a call girl. John Edwards getting busted while visiting "the other woman."

And now Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich gets busted for essentially trying to sell the vacant Senate seat, which is still warm from Barack Obama's departure. Let's listen in:

"Unless I get something real good ... (expletive), I'll just send myself, you know what I'm saying?"

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the nature of humans and power. It changes people, warps them into creatures they don't even recognize after a few years. That's just one of my reasons for term limits on everything from senator to dogcatcher.

Blagojevich's conundrum is one of the rawest grasps for money/power I've seen in a while. Spitzer needed a little sumpin' sumpin'. Edwards may very well have been led away by pure feelings. But in Blagojevich you can see an evil cunning, a misuse of the public's trust in order to gain a high-paying position for his wife and himself.

And if the price wasn't high enough, then he'd just take the seat of power for himself.

This scenario will exist forever. We can't stop it, but we should severely punish those who do.

Unfortunately, that's another problem with those in power. They tend to protect each other.

Thanks for the downer

Obama certainly isn't wasting his time in his quest to depress the hell out of America. He spoke to the nation Sunday, which this story adequately describes. A few things jump out at me as terribly sobering and not pleasant at all. Here's a quick summary:

- The economy will get worse before it gets better. Well, there's a surprise, but I suppose it doesn't hurt to lay the smack down of reality upon the American populace. We shouldn't be ticked at the messenger.

- The days of pork barrel spending are over. Sure, if you want to veto every budget Congress sends to you. I've said it before - pork spending is an infinitesimal portion of the budget, it's a good way to garner favors from others in Congress and keep your own people happy at the same time.

- Unemployment's at 6.7 percent. And it's probably going to climb over the next year. Luckily, I know how to wait tables.

- "We can't worry short term about the deficit." Well, that's good to know. I guess all the talk numerous politicians spouted about the spiraling deficit really wasn't that important. I'll just close my eyes and pray for a clean death.

- Questions about Obama's smoking habits. He coyly evaded answering this one outright. I wonder just what he's smoking ...

Hillz can have Secretary of State?

There has been far too much chatter about Sen. Hillary Clinton's inability to serve as Secretary of State because of Article 1, Section 6 of the Constitution, which states:

No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been increased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.

So, Bush raised the salary's while Clinton was a senator, making her ineligible to serve - or so that's what Judicial Watch, an obviously partisan group, has said in this CNN story:

"There's no getting around the Constitution's ineligibility clause, so Hillary Clinton is prohibited from serving in the Cabinet until at least 2013, when her current term expires," Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton said in a statement.

Of course, I recently read a blog that lamented the fact Congress would have to actually change the law to allow Clinton to serve. How terrible it is that our elected legislature must waste time by adhering to a law, it was declared.

Both are chump views. Precedent on this issue was set more than 30 years ago and reinforced during the Clinton administration. Fitton looks like a fool for declaring there's no way Hillary can serve, because it's happened before.

And blog hero would rather ignore the rule of law because it's such a petty thing in his eyes - an equally foolish outlook when you consider our nation is supposedly built on the rule of law.
Congress will either lower the salary or Hillary won't work for the higher pay. Time to move on to the next pathetic partisan attack.

Sax attack

So, Saxby Chambliss secured his Senate seat for another term. We thought he'd do well.

Sitting here at 9:41 p.m. from the comfort of my cubicle, I see that the Sax has taken about 58 percent of the vote with around 88 percent of precincts reporting.

He really relied on the whole filibsuter issue, in my most humble of opinions. Saxby declared he'll be a firewall to stop those evil-doer Democrats from pushing filthy legislation down good Americans' throats - or something to that effect.

I guess running on a platform of stopping anything from happening really can work. Good job.

It's the impeachiest time of the year

I don't care what your political dalliances are, this is awesome.

Here's the skinny: First Lady Laura Bush asks representatives to submit Christmas tree decorations for the White House tree. One artiste sends in a decoration in support of a resolution for the impeachment of the president.

Surprise: it didn't make the cut.

And the icing on the cake? This quote: Sally McDonough, a spokeswoman for Laura Bush, called the ornament inappropriate. "I think it really is a shame and, quite frankly, not very much in the holiday spirit," she said.

BWAAHAHHAHAH. It's not in the holiday spirit? Really? And I imagine those who feel so strongly about impeaching Bush, who have a righteous fervor and belief that the president must undergo those proceedings, should just wait until the holidays are done?

Yeah. Let's be serious. Bush isn't going to be impeached. That's not the point. The real point is that White House spokespeople wouldn't know good PR if it bit them.

"I think it really is a shame..." It's a shame McDonough has had that cush job for this long. Don't let the White House door hit your butt on your way out.

Georgia is relevant? You betcha!

What do you do when you're locked in a runoff and you're not sure about your re-election chances? Bring in the big guns - and that's not supposed to be dirty, so clean out your rotten head with some moral floss.

Sarah Palin is in the Peach State stumping for Saxby Chambliss, who may or may not be in a tough spot trying to get re-elected. Palin's reached celebrity status, and her mere appearance here means national media attention, especially because she hasn't shown her head on a campaign trail since Nov. 4.

People love Palin, and that love is a power to be reckoned with. Chambliss will likely win, and Palin's tour through Georgia should be credited with that win. Jim Martin gave it a good shot, and I'll be happy to feast on crow if wrong, but the Obama factor bringing people to the polls is over. Republicans will have their day Tuesday, and Chambliss will return to the Senate to ensure the evil Democrats don't use their majority to destroy taxpaying citizens while devilishly laughing over their misfortune.

Because we certainly wouldn't want any party to have that level of control. Right, Saxby?

Smack attack

What's this? An educated answer to drug use that isn't filled with trite messages or nonsensical policies that don't work?

Could be. Check this story out on Yahoo! News about the Swiss recently overwhelmingly approving a measure to extend the nation's heroin addiction problem.

In America, it's easy to disregard such ideas as loopy liberalism from the EU and chastise the countries that come up with these ideas as foolish and irresponsible. "Drugs are bad" I hear screaming from every teacher I ever had the displeasure of hearing from.

Yeah, they sure are. So why don't you tell me why after decades of the War on Drugs your perfect little message still hasn't worked?

There are problems with drug policy in America, and a vast majority of our leaders are still too scared to openly question our outdated policies for fear they'll be viewed as "soft on drugs." What we get from this mindset is more of the same.

Nobody wants heroin addicts hanging out in their neighborhoods and talking to their kids. In Switzerland, they're dealing with this problem in an adult way instead of dishing out the same old tired PSAs on drug use.

This is your brain. This is your brain on stepping away from the failed policies of the past and moving into the future with forward-thinking ideas based on reality. Any questions?

Who's that girl?

It's been almost a week since the official mascot of "Political Pork & Beans," Ashley Alexandra Dupre, had her interview appear in "People." You may wonder why it took me so long to form a missive concerning this most elusive of former call girls.

It's simple, really. I wanted to take the time to really let this interview sink in. Here we are, getting close to year after this now 23-year-old sexpot started the chain reaction that resulted in the political destruction of New York's governor and his ultimate descent into marriage counseling. What gems does she have to share with us?

For example: "Everyone knows me as 'that girl,' but I'm not just 'that girl,' " the 23-year-old former escort says in the new issue of PEOPLE, on sale Friday. "I have a lot of depth, a lot of layers."

Really? Do tell, Ashley: "I'm 23 years old," she says. "I want to do music, to do fashion, to write books — there's so many things."

Let's drop the charade, Ash. You're no Lauren Conrad. There may be many things wrong with this country, but one thing that's right is that hookers don't turn their dalliances into hit books.

Lewinsky can play her affair off as a young girl manipulated by a skillful older man. Ashley got paid good money to sleep with strangers.

We've read that book before. We don't need another copy.

Consider the source

This is a tough one. Another story, another confession about Natalee Holloway by Joran van der Sloot. The link goes to Fox News, and it's a lengthy interview that will take you a good while to get through.

I know, you may disregard the whole thing as being more worthy of Entertainment Tonight than a serious, hard-hitting, hold-no-punches, win-one-for-the-Gipper political blog such as this. However, remember that Alabama Gov. Bob Riley actually called for a boycott of Aruba because of the handling of the investigation into her disappearance.

It remains newsworthy, and Joran stepping up to now claim he sold Holloway into slavery continues the endless cycle of this sad tale.

But is it newsworthy? News consumers are growing increasingly testy about their media these days, and show no fear in calling out what they deem as biased or poor reporting or just plain wondering why a certain story made it into the paper or online.

And does Joran's claim after the interview that the whole thing was a huge lie make any difference in its newsworthiness?

I mean, really, what's he angling for? A book deal?

Got Lewinsky?

Monica back in the White House? We can only dream. Check this out:

Former South Dakota Senator Tom Daschle, who is expected to be nominated as Secretary of Health and Human Services, responded to a reporter who asked about the Lewinsky rumors by pretending to receive a cell phone call. When the reporter took the phone from him and closed it while making a "we both know what you're doing" facial expression, Daschle said that appointing Lewinsky would be "like rubbing salt in the wounds of Senator Clinton at a time when we're supposed to be in a healing process." He added that Miss Lewinsky's presence in the White House would be "a huge distraction."

Ya think? Sure, it'd be a distraction but think of the great jokes that would come out of it. Palin jokes are already on the way out. This is the perfect replacement.

Selma Watch

It's time once again for another update on Selma, Ala., home of some of the wackiest governmental hijinks you'll ever have the pleasure of avoiding.

You may ask yourself - what do I care for this little Alabama town? That's a terrible question. Sit down. The reason you care about this city (which has been stated here before) is because Selma serves as a lesson for us all. Beware who serves you in local government and the power they have. Beneath all of our public personas lurks wretched, hideous creatures that thrive on limitless power and pettiness.

Case in point: This little blog I frequent loves to poke sticks at former Mayor James Perkins Jr., who was defeated in August by former City Council President George Evans.

Here's the skinny: the Selma Water Board recently denied making Evans the superintendent of the water works.

A government that represents your needs or petty politics? Back in the day, Selma's mayor was also made the water works' superintendent, because the mayor didn't make that much and the supe job helped boost that salary.

The tradition has held on to the current day, except there are still enough Perkins supporters on the water board to keep Evans off. What this means is that a defeated politician now removed from office still holds sway through those loyal to him.

Besides the fact that council members also hold paid positions on the water board (note to Alabama attorney general ...), this is just plain wrong. Certain politicians in Selma desire to keep a status quo that was defeated by the people in an election. What claims to be a representative government in this small town is nothing more than different cliques vying for power and money.

Wise up, and be thankful you don't live there.

Welcome to the club

And what a club it is - surrounding the president-elect as one of the top Cabinet members. Hillary Clinton will likely accept Barack Obama's offer to become the next Secretary of State.

There's plenty of reasons why she should as well as reasons why Obama offered the job. Clinton's got the experience to do the job; that's what she touted during her presidential campaign. Now Obama's giving her a shot at it - a pretty smooth move that should assuage any remaining hard feelings Clinton's supporters may still have.

There's been plenty of talk about Obama bringing many former Clinton staffers into the fold. Bush II did the same thing when he took office, except it was old Reagan administration folks.

It makes sense in both cases. Neither knew the inner workings of the White House, and they both need and needed people familiar with how things get done.

In Obama's case, though, it doesn't really ring true with the whole "change" theme. The only thing that's changing is a move back to the Clinton era.

Let's hope that isn't the only thing that changes.

Hill for Secretary of State?

Could be. Some media sources are already saying Obama's offered her the job, though those reports appear to be a bit premature.

This Yahoo! news story isn't making any announcements either way. Obama could be thinking about offering Hillary the spot, and she just might be thinking about accepting it.

I think it would be a really good way to placate her supporters. She touted her foreign credentials. Here's a way to put them to use. Like a good Democrat, she stumped hard core for Obama after losing the nomination. Secretary of State is a great way to reward that party loyalty.

But Hillary may want to continue serving in the Senate, where she's pretty much got a lifetime job, if she wants it. Taking a spot near the top virtually ensures her tenure in public office is limited. You don't go from a cabinet spot back to Congress.

So what's to be done? Lots of dealing behind closed doors, no doubt. Obama would be foolish to offer her the job without knowing for certain she'd accept. That wouldn't be seemly. We should see an announcement on this selection in a few days.

A word of advice

Everyone's got some advice for incoming president Barack Obama. At least, that's what this guy says and that's while he's passing out free advice.

I have to admit, he's got some pretty good ideas. I especially like his first suggestion, which is to open up the doors of government that have been pretty much closed for the past eight years.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to hop on the advice wagon and pass out a few ideas of my own. Let's go:

Share the (power) wealth. Republicans had a stranglehold on power in D.C. for about six years. It took Democrats taking the House in 2006 to put a rein on things, and that's not the way it should be. Obama should ensure people from both parties have prominent roles in his administration. If he doesn't, we'll just keep passing the mantle of power back and forth every four to eight years, building more animosity and dividing the country further.

Give me stem cell research. Obama's already said he's reviewing the various executive orders of Bush and likely will overturn those he disagrees with. Stem cell research has been hampered for years because Bush restricted the spending of federal dollars. This is technology that can help everyone, and it needs our government's help. Come on, I'm agreeing with Nancy Reagan on this.

Bridge the ideological divide. America appears split down the middle. Half the country believes its way is the only way and calls the other side traitors. The other side does the same thing. It needs to change, and that change should come from the top. We need our leaders to show us how it's done, not perpetuate an ugly evolution in our country that's been happening for too long.

Send me $700 billion. That's it. No explanation needed.

1,000, baby

I just saw that I've broken 1,000 hits. Since at least 250 of those are mine, I'd like to thank all my loyal readers for helping me reach 750 hits.

Come on, let's celebrate with a big ole' Howard Dean YEEAAARRGHGHGHGHGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking freedom

During the presidential campaign, I neglected to write about the kid that got an electric shock when he tried to take down a McCain sign and replace it with one for Obama. I should have. That kid ticked me off, as did the parent that put him up to it.

It represented one of the worst aspects of people in this country and it is something I consider the height of anti-Americanism. I may support Obama, and I have every right to. But I never have the right to trespass on your property, deface or remove your campaign sign and replace it with one of my own.

So to the kid who got shocked - hope you've learned a lesson. I also hope a court slaps your parent with a nice fine, too.

I was reminded of that story when I read this. It's a pretty haunting story about the racism that, kept quiet and anonymous most of the time, has boiled over following Obama's victory. Vandalism, threats of assassination, defacing and tearing down an Obama poster that hung on the door of a University of Alabama professor's office - these are acts committed by those who no doubt believe they are justified because they may think America has turned its back on what makes it great. Listen to this guy, who's quoted in the story:

"Grant Griffin, a 46-year-old white Georgia native, expressed similar sentiments: "I believe our nation is ruined and has been for several decades and the election of Obama is merely the culmination of the change.
"If you had real change it would involve all the members of (Obama's) church being deported," he said."

Ya know, Griffin, I have no problem with you expressing that sentiment. There are others, however, who go beyond words and break laws by scrawling epithets into sidewalks and cars.

To those who think you are expressing the "real" America by those acts, know that you are wrong. You represent the hate in this country that should not be here.

You can leave - now.

Why blogs suck

Sure, blogs are fun if you want to want to check on your favorite TV shows or you just like stalking some co-worker's ex-girlfriend, but let's get serious here - they're not for real news.

Look at this article, which makes the MSM outlets that carried the original stories look like chumps. Somebody claims Sarah Palin wouldn't know Africa from Chad, and the whole thing gets splayed across the net. Problem is, it's not true.

It's like Daily Kos, the uber liberal blog that loves to talk smack about any and everything anti-conservative and anti-Republican. My liberal friends (me, with liberal friends?) loved the story about Trig, Palin's newest child, actually being her daughter's. Sites like Daily Kos put it online and helped spread the misconception around. People are still spouting off about the "news" and I bet some of you out there still refuse to believe that it might have been false.

Here's a gem of wisdom for all you blog kids out there - just because it's online doesn't make it true.

The Africa debacle, Trig's true mother and other mindless pieces of gossip only hurt the public discourse. Some may continue to say that newspapers are dinosaurs and should quickly follow their example, but the foolishness that some blogs put out there proves that wrong.
People still need a credible news source that provides information upon which they can rely upon again and again. Some blogs can do this; most can't.

Contrary to popular belief, disseminating BS doesn't equal news.

You've got a winner here, Athens

Just when you thought it was safe to engage in thoughtful political debate ...

... Georgia Rep. Paul Broun, R-Athens, steps into the field and lobs this one:

"It may sound a bit crazy and off base, but the thing is, he's the one who proposed this national security force," Rep. Paul Broun said of Obama in an interview Monday with The Associated Press. "I'm just trying to bring attention to the fact that we may — may not, I hope not — but we may have a problem with that type of philosophy of radical socialism or Marxism.

"That's exactly what Hitler did in Nazi Germany and it's exactly what the Soviet Union did," Broun said. "When he's proposing to have a national security force that's answering to him, that is as strong as the U.S. military, he's showing me signs of being Marxist."

Really, Paul, do you think that might sound a little silly and off base? Ya think it might sound like someone on the losing side who's grasping at hair-thin straws while raving like a rabid dog that got kicked real hard on Nov. 4?

It doesn't sound like that to these winners, who believe Broun has tapped into an undercurrent of fear with his statements. Yeah, Obama got more than 300 electoral votes because he used fear as a razor-sharp tool to gain the highest office in the nation.

Listen people - fear as a method of controlling the American electorate is over. Broun and others need to realize that it doesn't work anymore.

Sure, he won his re-election hands down. Congrats. Welcome to the minority. You just talked smack about the very president-elect you're going to have to work with if you ever want to accomplish anything in Congress.

Pallin' around with Palin

Nothing makes a story better than getting a homespun quote from some politician's family member. In our latest example - Chuck Heath, father of Sarah Palin. Heath was recently contacted about the sticky "Palin spent $150,000 of RNC money on clothes issue" and he had this to say:

"She was just frantically ... trying to sort stuff out," Heath said. "That's the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for."

If anyone should know about losing underwear, it's a politician. Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig ... hey, join the club.

What it comes down to is this - the RNC will get its money back, or Palin will reimburse them, or they'll go to a charity or maybe even back to the stores where they were bought.

There may be some of you who think this is a non-story and that the media is picking on Palin. Those who think this are wrong. This is a story because an exorbitant amount of cash was spent on terribly expensive clothes, and it appears the candidate splurged beyond even the wildest plutocrat's dreams. That leaves us with potentially even more stories about Saks Fifth Avenue in the coming weeks. Joy.

Why can't we be more like Chuck Heath? He seems like a pretty down-to-earth guy who keeps coming out with some zingers such as this:

"Four state troopers still guard the governor 24 hours a day, Heath said — something Palin never had before.
And in a bit of familiarity, Heath said he brought a pot of moose chili to Palin's house this past weekend."

Drip drip drip

I've been waiting for a story like this for a while. Unfortunately, it wasn't during a debate, and he didn't do it on his opponent, which would have made the story priceless.

Here's the skinny - council member relieves himself on a crowd watching a Grateful Dead tribute band and gets arrested. Yeah, yeah, I know. The music's bad, but not that bad. Come on.

They charged the guy with simple assault. He probably won't get much time, if any. Hopefully, they'll have him clean Renta-Johns at Phish concerts. That's a double dose of punishment.

How about $150,000 in no clothes?

All right, we've all heard the stories about Sarah Palin's crazy $150,000 spending spree where she scoured the nation's hottest and hippest clothing stores for duds she didn't need and shouldn't have bought. Whatever the truth is, and it'll definitely come out as the weeks progress, I think we're all missing the big story.

That, of course, is the meeting once held in a hotel room where she trotted out in nothing more than a towel covering her and her hair.

"She told them to chat with her laconic husband, Todd. "I'll be just a minute," she said," this Newsweek article reports.

Hot.

The story is a great little piece of reporting, gathering tidbits about both campaigns and then keeping them hidden until after the election. I like it because it gets past all the BS of debates, arguments, policies and horribly negative TV ads to give us the real candidates.

This is who they are behind the, um, shower curtain. Obama is quoted off the cuff about answering a debate question, calling it stupid and wishing he could tell the questioner his real thoughts. We hear about the McCain camp's displeasure with Palin's decisions (reports we'll definitely hear more on in the coming weeks).

I want more stories like this, MSM. And I want more stories about Palin in various states of undress from reputable sources such as Larry Flynt.

Dear wackjob conservative

If you're reading this, McCain has recently lost the presidential election and you're probably feeling a little blue. This missive is intended to cheer you up, and turn that sense-of-entitlement frown upside down!

Don't think of Obama's win as a negative. Instead, it's an opportunity to attack the new president for the next four years! Remember - it's patriotic to smear the president when he's a Democrat! Republicans still retain their stranglehold on defining patriotism, and especially picking out who's a true "patriot" and "American." That should make those sweet, sweet tears of defeat taste a little less bitter!

Also, don't toss away fear as an essential tool in bending voters to your will. Fear was your greatest ally from 2002-2004 and only started losing its saber edge in the past few years. Concepts such as "hope," "change" and "civil rights" are mere catchphrases that will wither as the years pass. Hold onto your xenophobia, your distrust of the lower classes and your general distaste for anyone who doesn't have a fanatic devotion to your beliefs. You'll be the better conservative for it!

In closing, continue to wrap yourself in the American flag while denouncing those who don't agree with you, minorities and the French. Remember when we renamed french fries "freedom fries?" Those were the days!

Sincerely,

The winners

The past is funny

The Onion does this shtick all the time - mocking the past by comparing it with the present. Usually it's done in the context of talking about Texas Instruments being the most cutting edge in technology. Tonight, we do it with a piece from foxforum that's a few hours old. Enjoy:
"For several months now, before the polls were in a dead heat, before Joe the Plumber, before Obama let it slip he’s a socialist with Marxist tendencies, even before he revealed his plan to make the bitter and clingy unemployed by bankrupting the coal industry, I have been predicting a McCain win on November 4th. Now, as the campaigning comes to a close, I am more confident than ever."
You lose.

Obama's speech

It's easier to be nice when you win, but you'd think it was tough with all the negative ads that have been flying around. Still, Obama, like McCain, take the high road once all the shouting's over.
He's giving his speech right now. It's obviously planned, carefully crafted. We can only hope he makes such careful plans when he holds the highest office in the land.
Watching the speech, I thought of the plan the Founding Fathers must have had when building the nation's foundations. It's a nice thought that the government they built more than 200 years ago continues today. That, hopefully, it'll continue for years after we're all dead.
And, of course, I hope that politicians continue using an ending phrase that's become required in speeches: God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

McCain concedes

He's giving his speech right now, and it's pretty touching. Not surprising. Regardless of what you think of the guy, McCain has class. It's a strength in this country that two opposing sides can battle for more than a year, without blood, and then on the final day give up the race without a bullet fired.
That's a fairly cheese statement that's been made before, given. But it's true. Both McCain and Obama fought to get where they are right now, and it wasn't a happy trip. To be able to bow out after the hate that's been spilled across papers and televisions is really a class act.

Virginia goes Obama

Looks like Virginia is going for the Democrat. The American map is pretty much filling out exactly as the polls said they would.
This makes a studious savant of politics wonder - why do "insiders" often claim they have access to polls us peons don't get? McCain's internal polls showed something different from what all of us saw, and his polls are proving wrong. Rove did the same thing in 2006, pretty much mocking an NPR commentator with his puny, for-the-public polls.
I'm not saying Democrats should have started measuring the drapes, but it looks like it wasn't a waste of time.

Ohio becomes concrete

The status of one of the biggie states is solidly for Obama. Ohio has been called for the Democrat by the likes of Yahoo! and fivethirtyeight. I think if Florida goes Obama, then McCain needs to take a deep breath and pick up the phone for probably the toughest call he'll ever make.
Never one to shy away from analyzing something far too early, it looks like the economy is what tugged on people's minds this election. Four years is a long time in politics and the war in Iraq just doesn't have the same effect anymore.
Neither does fear.

And it plays out

It's 9:30 p.m. Georgia time right now, and the polls are rolling in faster than expected. Many thought there'd be people standing in long lines at the polls way past 7 p.m. They were in other states, but if you check the Georgia Secretary of State's Web site, things are well underway.
So, what have we learned at this point - things are going pretty much as fivethirtyeight predicted. For the past week, I've thought that if Obama took Ohio or Florida, the race was his. At least one media outlet has already called Ohio for Obama. We'll see if that theme plays out as the pundits expect.
For those of you with cash on McCain, don't hand over your dollars yet. It's still early.

And now, it starts

As I write this, it's close to four hours before the hamlet of Dixville Notch, New Hampshire, holds its world renowned midnight voting. The tiny town of about 75 people will meet at The Balsams, take about a minute or so to vote and then release the results.

What does this mean for you, the viewer? Thankfully, the beginning of the end of this seemingly never ending campaign season. Grab a glass of port, fire up the PC and watch for the town's returns to hit the Internet.

Then grab some sleep and wake up early enough to get to your poll. In Georgia and Alabama, you're likely in for a wait.

Be sure to check back with me Tuesday throughout the night. I'll be working late and blogging whenever I catch a free moment.

A few good yuks

So, John McCain appeared on SNL and got some laughs. I just finished watching the "Weekend Update" clip and I have to say, it's pretty good stuff. Saturday Night Live is usually a good waste of 90 minutes, but they've been sharp with their politics this season. I'll give credit where it's due.

Appearances such as these make an already dirty campaign feel just a little bit cleaner. Many have remarked in news stories and blogs about the deteriorating nature of American politics. Face it, people are getting nastier and more polarized. Gone is the agreement to disagree or the ability to hold a rational debate of ideas. Instead, it's yelling, attacks on your opponent's intelligence and a general "us versus them."

I vaguely referenced a week or so ago on this blog about Berkeley Breathed's decision to stop writing "Opus." His reason - the sad state of discourse in this country and where he thinks it's heading.

Being willing to take yourself down a few notches, appear on SNL and cut a few jokes while others playfully make jokes about you is a dying art. McCain might not win on Tuesday, but he's won some respect. How many of us would stand before the American viewing audience?

Bwhahahahah!!!!!

Statements such as these are why I love politics:

"Asked about 2012, whether she was discouraged by daily attacks on the campaign trail and whether she would return home to Alaska, the Republican vice presidential nominee signaled that she expects to be a player in the next presidential election cycle.
"I think that, if I were to give up and wave a white flag of surrender against some of the political shots that we've taken ... I'm not doing this for naught," Palin told ABC News in a taped interview airing on Thursday."

Let's get something straight - if McCain loses on Tuesday, Palin will return to relative obscurity and likely lose her governor's seat when it comes up for grabs. She will disappear into a quaint history book and only return to newspapers for the marriage of a child, a divorce and an obituary.

If he wins, fair enough. She gets an office in the White House and pretty much a guaranteed shot at running for the presidency if McCain isn't booted out after a first term. And, of course, she's got a great shot at being president, since McCain is knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door.

But things aren't looking good for McCain right now, and talking about your future political dreams days away from Nov. 4 doesn't help. We've all read the stories about Palin going rogue. Ya think they would have gotten someone to talk to her about that by now.

Funny stuff

An unabashedly pro-Obama video with a tinge of nostalgia for all the old school kids. Enjoy.

Joe the Dumber

So, Joe the Plumber has finally come out and formally endorsed McCain.

Really? Wow. I didn't see this one coming. The guy gets famous by talking to Barack Obama at a rally and then morphs into this everyman figure that McCain adopts into his campaign strategy.

Not a bad move, actually. Who can't empathize with a regular Joe who works day in and out, just trying to make ends meet? Also, who can't feel the pain of a guy who doesn't have a license to do his job and owes the government some cash from a few years back?

But if this Everyman quotation is any indication of how the average American thinks, then I think we've got a problem with reality perception:

"In a McCain rally at a flag store, Wurzelbacher said he feared that Obama would turn the U.S. into a socialist nation."

Remember, he eats babies and he's a Muslim, too!

It's a good thing this election is almost over, because I know I'm not the only one tired of these pathetic attempts to smear "that one." Welcome to the land of Social Security, food stamps and the Division of Family and Children's Services. It's still an America founded on capitalistic values.

And no matter how thin ya slice it, Joe, it's still baloney.

Are you kidding me?

How dumb is this? Two kids with a screwed up belief system get some guns, get a plan to get more guns and have a wild fantasy about killing blacks before assassinating Barack Obama.

No, really, how dumb is this? Well, I'd say it's this dumb - they're going to federal prison for so long they won't remember what the sun looks like. How about this - they won't even remember how many copies of "American History X" they own.

These guys have truly redefined stupidity. Look, I can understand that different people have various beliefs and morals. Some of them are deemed detestable by society (cannibalism, white supremacy, fans of "The Real World"), so if you have them, you'd best keep your mouth shut.

What you don't do is come up with an idea an 8-year-old could poke holes through given five minutes of thought. "Um, won't going on a multi-state killing spree clue people into your whereabouts and lead police to you?"

Then again, perhaps we want our criminals stupid, so we can catch them easier. Smart criminals lead to longer crime sprees. These guys couldn't even get out of the starting gate.

Regardless of your political beliefs, that's a good thing.

And you might ask yourself ...

...where has Alan been for the past week? Well, I decided to take a break from blogging while taking a well-deserved rest in arid Las Vegas. Activities whilst in that hub of hubris include sitting at poker tables for hours, drinking yard-long drinks and watching cable news networks.

Watching the likes of CNN and Fox News isn't something I do while in Columbus, so I consider myself a bit of a cypher when it comes to the norm. Here's what I learned: The only worthy channel is CSPAN, when they point a camera at the well of the House or Senate and let it roll. Everything else is either shameless spin, people shouting at each other or the repetition of talking points that have already been drilled into everyone's collective head. All the same tired stories are repeated endlessly, and each particular network's slant is regurgitated on a timely 10-minute cycle.

So, what to do? As voters, I'd argue we should educate ourselves instead of letting talking heads do it for us. We can discover how a particular candidate votes, what his or her policies are and how they would affect us. We don't need a biased station telling us half truths or untruths. We get enough of that already.

The reason why Opus is leaving

I was stumbling around CNN's Web site tonight and found this stunner knee deep in a series of online updates:

"according to the pool report when Obama entered the restaurant a woman screamed “Socialist, socialist, socialist – get out of here!” The woman, 54 year-old Diane Fanning was admonished by other diners and one woman yelled back “at least he’s not a war-monger.”

Are you serious? Stuff like this really ticks me off. These types of crass, uncouth attacks by people who don't know a Democrat from Lenin aren't helping anybody. Instead, it makes me realize how God awful our national discourse has become.

Fanning obviously hasn't done her homework, because she doesn't know what Obama's tax plan is. She also needs to start reading Miss Manners and figure out where to get some of her own.

It's one thing to talk smack about a national politician when you're around the water cooler, but I would hope everyone could show some humanity when they meet them in person. We're all human, and that means you should treat them as such. CNN reported that Fanning wouldn't even shake Obama's hand.

Actions like that are why America's most beloved penguin won't be around for much longer.

The Al Smith dinner

Well, I missed it again. The annual Al Smith dinner, in honor of the late, great New York governor Al Smith, was held this past week and I was busy doing actual work instead of yukking it up with the haves and have-mores. Though I did miss the foie gras, I wanted to share a few zingers that I found particularly interesting.

From McCain:

'When a reporter asked him if Senator Obama was qualified to be president, Bill Clinton pointed out, sure, he's over 35 years of age and a U.S. citizen."

"...I understand that Keith Olbermann has ordered up his very own "mission accomplished" banner. And they can hang that in whatever padded room has been reserved for him. Seriously, Chris, if they need any decorating advice on that banner, ask Keith to call me so I can tell him right where to put it."
From Obama:

"It is an honor to be here with Al Smith. I obviously never knew your great grandfather, but from everything that Senator McCain has told me, the two of them had a great time together before Prohibition. So -- wonderful stories."

"But in the spirit of full disclosure, there are a few October surprises you'll be finding out about in the coming weeks. First of all, my middle name is not what you think. It's actually Steve. That's right. Barack Steve Obama."

Ba-da-bing!

But a little more seriously, I hunted down a few stories about the dinner and had difficulty finding a specific mention that it was for a Catholic charity. Is it deliberate, an honest mistake by the media? If I was writing the story, I think I'd include what type of charity it was for. Not like the cardinal decked out in red isn't a tip off, though...

Sex and the Mahoney

I was really going into withdrawal, what with the recent lack of sex in political news. I mean, Spitzer's pretty much over and done with; who knows if Ashley Alexandra Dupree (Miss Youmans if you're nasty) will ever appear on Girls Gone Wild. And what of John Edwards' mistress? And the love child? And a real news organization to find out all about it, such as the National Enquirer?

But here, in Democratic Rep. Tim Mahoney, I have a fix to my news need. And don't act all holy roller on me, either. You read these stories just as much as anybody.

Here's the skinny: Newb congressman gets busted for his affair with a staffer and paying her some hush money. Icing on the cake: He's the replacement for former Rep. Mark Foley, who sent all those texts to male pages. Mahoney campaigned on a family values, morals type of schtick, which I believe qualifies for the moniker of "ironic."

Chocolate syrup on the icing: this quote - "No marriage is perfect," Mahoney said, "but our private life is our private life."

Um, yeah, that would be true, unless you were a member of the House of Representatives. When you frequent certain coffee shops on a regular basis, have a special type of gin you prefer or enjoy Caribbean vacations, all of these will make the news. It's just fun, tidbit-type stuff people like to read about their politicians, but don't necessarily care about when it's just their neighbor.

So, when you sleep around on your wife, expect it to make the papers. If Mahoney had been in D.C. longer, he may have realized this aspect of public life. It doesn't look like he'll get the time to figure that out.

What's in a number?

I remember an NPR interview with Karl Rove just a few days before the 2006 midterm elections. Naturally, the just a teensy-bit liberal newscaster was talking about a number of polls that showed the Democrats taking the House that November, but Rove wouldn't have any of it. Acting a little snooty and very superior, he told the tweed-wearing NPR flak that he was watching very different polls. Polls, no doubt, that us unwashed heathens had no access to and couldn't possibly ever hope to locate. These vastly better polls told a different story of that November's winners.

Rove, God love him, was full of it and as the polls said the Democrats rokked the mic. All of this leads me to this Web site - a bastion of numbers and poll gathering likely to make the mind reel.

Pretty intense, but is it worth buying into? They're willing to call states for Obama that the folks at the MSM still claim are too close to call. Then again, they look at several polls a day and update their site every day.

Some may say their prediction that Obama has a 93 percent chance of taking the White House is a little lofty, but I'm willing to buy it. Then again, I've been accused of having more than a few tweed jackets in my closet.

When third party candidates whine

I got three e-mails over the weekend from one Merry Williams, who obviously supports Green Party candidate Cynthia McKinney's run for the White House. I'll include a short bit from one of them:

"The real drama of the presidential debates is that they're rigged to exclude all candidates except the Democratic and Republican nominees ... Voters have a right to be informed about which candidate best represents them, even if the polls and media say that they aren't 'winnable.'"

Oh, come on. Are you saying we really shouldn't look at polls and a candidate's support base when determining who makes the debate cut? Get serious. Otherwise, we'd have every joker who makes it on a few states' ballots behind a podium, delivering their ill-conceived rant and wasting everyone's time. Look at the Georgia ballot - McKinney didn't even make the cut, and she used to represent this state in Congress. At least Bob Barr got on there. I would argue that he should have been at the debates, but he doesn't have a chance of winning, either.

And that, really, is what it comes down to - who's going to win the election. It's Obama or McCain; no one else is going to be sitting in the Oval Office come Jan. 20.

So why should we capitulate to any number of third party candidates who have no chance of leading the country and will only kill air time if we allow them at a debate? With the two-party system we have, candidates such as McKinney would be better off spending their time volunteering it to a good cause, not a lost one.

Debate? Town hall meeting? Any difference?

So, I watched the second presidential debate Tuesday night. Actually, I was vaguely listening to it while playing cards, but it was streaming in the background of my PC nonetheless.

Here's what I learned: There didn't appear to be any difference in a debate or a town hall meeting. Both candidates still had their stock of prepared answers to any question given them. Both would completely avoid answering a specific question if they didn't want to, wander off into some more familiar country and the moderator would let them. And both used the opportunity to dig into the other and basically try to rally their supporters while getting new ones.

The only thing that seemed to be different was the lack of podiums. Instead, the candidates lounged against hip chairs while waiting for their turn, casually holding their microphones.

Is this the format John McCain was dying for? Did I miss something? I already miss the rough-and-tumble of the vice presidential debate, dontcha know?

And to make the whole thing that much worse, I don't feel like I learned anything. These debates don't help people decide who to vote for. It just provides more fodder for their devotees to fawn over and mishaps for the other guys to use in their blog posts the next day.

Doubleplus ungood

I don't like online political forums. Reason: they're full of partisan parrots that can't, under any reason, have an open-minded debate. I have never found a discussion online about politics that ultimately didn't dissolve into name calling, hate spewing and a general false superior sense of "I'm right, you're wrong."

How can otherwise rational people believe their side is always right and the other guy is permanently wrong? You've seen the foolishness people write. A fair example would be from the comments people wrote here about the new movie with a conservative slant: "An American Carol."

Examples: "Reviwer is obviously a liberal that can't take a joke. I'm sure that he thinks the SNL skits of Palin are funny, but you can't touch his liberal buddies, thats mean. Give me a break."

"Hmmm, Let me guess, RENE RODRIGUEZ is hmmmm, a liberal..."

"I thought it was a great movie, Rene Rodriguiz, gee, sounds Mexican to me. Maybe she just doesn't like being an American, please, be my guest, get your butt back across the border. I felt very patriotic after watching this movie, she can't, at least, not for America."

Comments such as these are just a drop in the ocean of what passes for politics online, but they show how many of us feel. You are a "liberal" or a "conservative." There are no other words that define you, and if I'm one and you're the other, I despise you.

Maybe things are this way because of how our system is built. America's a two-party system; third parties don't get the play like they do in parliamentary governments. The party system of this country is our political language; we don't have words for someone who supports gun rights and also wants gun control. What do you call the guy who supports the war in Iraq and the legalization of all drugs?

Our system isn't yin-yang; it's us versus them, and that's not healthy for any of us. We're not having a robust, worthy conversation about politics in America when we have people who want to ship all the liberals away and others who want to cook the conservatives for dinner. This is a doubleplus bad situation for everyone.