We here at Political Pork & Beans realize the cultural importance of marking each new year. Therefore, we resolve to better ourselves through a series of resolutions that we hope will make even more readers flock to this blog throughout the new year.
The following resolutions were decided upon after much debate and prayer, and were not just spit out on a lazy Dec. 31 with our legs resting on a desk as we watch the clock. The resolutions are:
Be more snarky. While PPB prides itself on our wit and witticism, we realize that sometimes we're not as snarky as we could be. Expect more offensive diatribes mocking people of all faiths, creeds and political backgrounds in the upcoming year.
Focus on more sex scandals. Everyone likes a good scandal, right? That's doubly true if there's sex involved. We resolve to write more about politicians' perversions in 2009, even if it means making stuff up.
Support more crazy beliefs. We are already staunch supporters of some pretty foolish ideas, but in the coming year we resolve to put our weight behind some really wacked out notions. These include the fair tax, third parties and the 10th Amendment.
Happy New Year.
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