Smack attack

What's this? An educated answer to drug use that isn't filled with trite messages or nonsensical policies that don't work?

Could be. Check this story out on Yahoo! News about the Swiss recently overwhelmingly approving a measure to extend the nation's heroin addiction problem.

In America, it's easy to disregard such ideas as loopy liberalism from the EU and chastise the countries that come up with these ideas as foolish and irresponsible. "Drugs are bad" I hear screaming from every teacher I ever had the displeasure of hearing from.

Yeah, they sure are. So why don't you tell me why after decades of the War on Drugs your perfect little message still hasn't worked?

There are problems with drug policy in America, and a vast majority of our leaders are still too scared to openly question our outdated policies for fear they'll be viewed as "soft on drugs." What we get from this mindset is more of the same.

Nobody wants heroin addicts hanging out in their neighborhoods and talking to their kids. In Switzerland, they're dealing with this problem in an adult way instead of dishing out the same old tired PSAs on drug use.

This is your brain. This is your brain on stepping away from the failed policies of the past and moving into the future with forward-thinking ideas based on reality. Any questions?

Who's that girl?

It's been almost a week since the official mascot of "Political Pork & Beans," Ashley Alexandra Dupre, had her interview appear in "People." You may wonder why it took me so long to form a missive concerning this most elusive of former call girls.

It's simple, really. I wanted to take the time to really let this interview sink in. Here we are, getting close to year after this now 23-year-old sexpot started the chain reaction that resulted in the political destruction of New York's governor and his ultimate descent into marriage counseling. What gems does she have to share with us?

For example: "Everyone knows me as 'that girl,' but I'm not just 'that girl,' " the 23-year-old former escort says in the new issue of PEOPLE, on sale Friday. "I have a lot of depth, a lot of layers."

Really? Do tell, Ashley: "I'm 23 years old," she says. "I want to do music, to do fashion, to write books — there's so many things."

Let's drop the charade, Ash. You're no Lauren Conrad. There may be many things wrong with this country, but one thing that's right is that hookers don't turn their dalliances into hit books.

Lewinsky can play her affair off as a young girl manipulated by a skillful older man. Ashley got paid good money to sleep with strangers.

We've read that book before. We don't need another copy.

Consider the source

This is a tough one. Another story, another confession about Natalee Holloway by Joran van der Sloot. The link goes to Fox News, and it's a lengthy interview that will take you a good while to get through.

I know, you may disregard the whole thing as being more worthy of Entertainment Tonight than a serious, hard-hitting, hold-no-punches, win-one-for-the-Gipper political blog such as this. However, remember that Alabama Gov. Bob Riley actually called for a boycott of Aruba because of the handling of the investigation into her disappearance.

It remains newsworthy, and Joran stepping up to now claim he sold Holloway into slavery continues the endless cycle of this sad tale.

But is it newsworthy? News consumers are growing increasingly testy about their media these days, and show no fear in calling out what they deem as biased or poor reporting or just plain wondering why a certain story made it into the paper or online.

And does Joran's claim after the interview that the whole thing was a huge lie make any difference in its newsworthiness?

I mean, really, what's he angling for? A book deal?

Got Lewinsky?

Monica back in the White House? We can only dream. Check this out:

Former South Dakota Senator Tom Daschle, who is expected to be nominated as Secretary of Health and Human Services, responded to a reporter who asked about the Lewinsky rumors by pretending to receive a cell phone call. When the reporter took the phone from him and closed it while making a "we both know what you're doing" facial expression, Daschle said that appointing Lewinsky would be "like rubbing salt in the wounds of Senator Clinton at a time when we're supposed to be in a healing process." He added that Miss Lewinsky's presence in the White House would be "a huge distraction."

Ya think? Sure, it'd be a distraction but think of the great jokes that would come out of it. Palin jokes are already on the way out. This is the perfect replacement.

Selma Watch

It's time once again for another update on Selma, Ala., home of some of the wackiest governmental hijinks you'll ever have the pleasure of avoiding.

You may ask yourself - what do I care for this little Alabama town? That's a terrible question. Sit down. The reason you care about this city (which has been stated here before) is because Selma serves as a lesson for us all. Beware who serves you in local government and the power they have. Beneath all of our public personas lurks wretched, hideous creatures that thrive on limitless power and pettiness.

Case in point: This little blog I frequent loves to poke sticks at former Mayor James Perkins Jr., who was defeated in August by former City Council President George Evans.

Here's the skinny: the Selma Water Board recently denied making Evans the superintendent of the water works.

A government that represents your needs or petty politics? Back in the day, Selma's mayor was also made the water works' superintendent, because the mayor didn't make that much and the supe job helped boost that salary.

The tradition has held on to the current day, except there are still enough Perkins supporters on the water board to keep Evans off. What this means is that a defeated politician now removed from office still holds sway through those loyal to him.

Besides the fact that council members also hold paid positions on the water board (note to Alabama attorney general ...), this is just plain wrong. Certain politicians in Selma desire to keep a status quo that was defeated by the people in an election. What claims to be a representative government in this small town is nothing more than different cliques vying for power and money.

Wise up, and be thankful you don't live there.

Welcome to the club

And what a club it is - surrounding the president-elect as one of the top Cabinet members. Hillary Clinton will likely accept Barack Obama's offer to become the next Secretary of State.

There's plenty of reasons why she should as well as reasons why Obama offered the job. Clinton's got the experience to do the job; that's what she touted during her presidential campaign. Now Obama's giving her a shot at it - a pretty smooth move that should assuage any remaining hard feelings Clinton's supporters may still have.

There's been plenty of talk about Obama bringing many former Clinton staffers into the fold. Bush II did the same thing when he took office, except it was old Reagan administration folks.

It makes sense in both cases. Neither knew the inner workings of the White House, and they both need and needed people familiar with how things get done.

In Obama's case, though, it doesn't really ring true with the whole "change" theme. The only thing that's changing is a move back to the Clinton era.

Let's hope that isn't the only thing that changes.

Hill for Secretary of State?

Could be. Some media sources are already saying Obama's offered her the job, though those reports appear to be a bit premature.

This Yahoo! news story isn't making any announcements either way. Obama could be thinking about offering Hillary the spot, and she just might be thinking about accepting it.

I think it would be a really good way to placate her supporters. She touted her foreign credentials. Here's a way to put them to use. Like a good Democrat, she stumped hard core for Obama after losing the nomination. Secretary of State is a great way to reward that party loyalty.

But Hillary may want to continue serving in the Senate, where she's pretty much got a lifetime job, if she wants it. Taking a spot near the top virtually ensures her tenure in public office is limited. You don't go from a cabinet spot back to Congress.

So what's to be done? Lots of dealing behind closed doors, no doubt. Obama would be foolish to offer her the job without knowing for certain she'd accept. That wouldn't be seemly. We should see an announcement on this selection in a few days.

A word of advice

Everyone's got some advice for incoming president Barack Obama. At least, that's what this guy says and that's while he's passing out free advice.

I have to admit, he's got some pretty good ideas. I especially like his first suggestion, which is to open up the doors of government that have been pretty much closed for the past eight years.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to hop on the advice wagon and pass out a few ideas of my own. Let's go:

Share the (power) wealth. Republicans had a stranglehold on power in D.C. for about six years. It took Democrats taking the House in 2006 to put a rein on things, and that's not the way it should be. Obama should ensure people from both parties have prominent roles in his administration. If he doesn't, we'll just keep passing the mantle of power back and forth every four to eight years, building more animosity and dividing the country further.

Give me stem cell research. Obama's already said he's reviewing the various executive orders of Bush and likely will overturn those he disagrees with. Stem cell research has been hampered for years because Bush restricted the spending of federal dollars. This is technology that can help everyone, and it needs our government's help. Come on, I'm agreeing with Nancy Reagan on this.

Bridge the ideological divide. America appears split down the middle. Half the country believes its way is the only way and calls the other side traitors. The other side does the same thing. It needs to change, and that change should come from the top. We need our leaders to show us how it's done, not perpetuate an ugly evolution in our country that's been happening for too long.

Send me $700 billion. That's it. No explanation needed.

1,000, baby

I just saw that I've broken 1,000 hits. Since at least 250 of those are mine, I'd like to thank all my loyal readers for helping me reach 750 hits.

Come on, let's celebrate with a big ole' Howard Dean YEEAAARRGHGHGHGHGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking freedom

During the presidential campaign, I neglected to write about the kid that got an electric shock when he tried to take down a McCain sign and replace it with one for Obama. I should have. That kid ticked me off, as did the parent that put him up to it.

It represented one of the worst aspects of people in this country and it is something I consider the height of anti-Americanism. I may support Obama, and I have every right to. But I never have the right to trespass on your property, deface or remove your campaign sign and replace it with one of my own.

So to the kid who got shocked - hope you've learned a lesson. I also hope a court slaps your parent with a nice fine, too.

I was reminded of that story when I read this. It's a pretty haunting story about the racism that, kept quiet and anonymous most of the time, has boiled over following Obama's victory. Vandalism, threats of assassination, defacing and tearing down an Obama poster that hung on the door of a University of Alabama professor's office - these are acts committed by those who no doubt believe they are justified because they may think America has turned its back on what makes it great. Listen to this guy, who's quoted in the story:

"Grant Griffin, a 46-year-old white Georgia native, expressed similar sentiments: "I believe our nation is ruined and has been for several decades and the election of Obama is merely the culmination of the change.
"If you had real change it would involve all the members of (Obama's) church being deported," he said."

Ya know, Griffin, I have no problem with you expressing that sentiment. There are others, however, who go beyond words and break laws by scrawling epithets into sidewalks and cars.

To those who think you are expressing the "real" America by those acts, know that you are wrong. You represent the hate in this country that should not be here.

You can leave - now.

Why blogs suck

Sure, blogs are fun if you want to want to check on your favorite TV shows or you just like stalking some co-worker's ex-girlfriend, but let's get serious here - they're not for real news.

Look at this article, which makes the MSM outlets that carried the original stories look like chumps. Somebody claims Sarah Palin wouldn't know Africa from Chad, and the whole thing gets splayed across the net. Problem is, it's not true.

It's like Daily Kos, the uber liberal blog that loves to talk smack about any and everything anti-conservative and anti-Republican. My liberal friends (me, with liberal friends?) loved the story about Trig, Palin's newest child, actually being her daughter's. Sites like Daily Kos put it online and helped spread the misconception around. People are still spouting off about the "news" and I bet some of you out there still refuse to believe that it might have been false.

Here's a gem of wisdom for all you blog kids out there - just because it's online doesn't make it true.

The Africa debacle, Trig's true mother and other mindless pieces of gossip only hurt the public discourse. Some may continue to say that newspapers are dinosaurs and should quickly follow their example, but the foolishness that some blogs put out there proves that wrong.
People still need a credible news source that provides information upon which they can rely upon again and again. Some blogs can do this; most can't.

Contrary to popular belief, disseminating BS doesn't equal news.

You've got a winner here, Athens

Just when you thought it was safe to engage in thoughtful political debate ...

... Georgia Rep. Paul Broun, R-Athens, steps into the field and lobs this one:

"It may sound a bit crazy and off base, but the thing is, he's the one who proposed this national security force," Rep. Paul Broun said of Obama in an interview Monday with The Associated Press. "I'm just trying to bring attention to the fact that we may — may not, I hope not — but we may have a problem with that type of philosophy of radical socialism or Marxism.

"That's exactly what Hitler did in Nazi Germany and it's exactly what the Soviet Union did," Broun said. "When he's proposing to have a national security force that's answering to him, that is as strong as the U.S. military, he's showing me signs of being Marxist."

Really, Paul, do you think that might sound a little silly and off base? Ya think it might sound like someone on the losing side who's grasping at hair-thin straws while raving like a rabid dog that got kicked real hard on Nov. 4?

It doesn't sound like that to these winners, who believe Broun has tapped into an undercurrent of fear with his statements. Yeah, Obama got more than 300 electoral votes because he used fear as a razor-sharp tool to gain the highest office in the nation.

Listen people - fear as a method of controlling the American electorate is over. Broun and others need to realize that it doesn't work anymore.

Sure, he won his re-election hands down. Congrats. Welcome to the minority. You just talked smack about the very president-elect you're going to have to work with if you ever want to accomplish anything in Congress.

Pallin' around with Palin

Nothing makes a story better than getting a homespun quote from some politician's family member. In our latest example - Chuck Heath, father of Sarah Palin. Heath was recently contacted about the sticky "Palin spent $150,000 of RNC money on clothes issue" and he had this to say:

"She was just frantically ... trying to sort stuff out," Heath said. "That's the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for."

If anyone should know about losing underwear, it's a politician. Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig ... hey, join the club.

What it comes down to is this - the RNC will get its money back, or Palin will reimburse them, or they'll go to a charity or maybe even back to the stores where they were bought.

There may be some of you who think this is a non-story and that the media is picking on Palin. Those who think this are wrong. This is a story because an exorbitant amount of cash was spent on terribly expensive clothes, and it appears the candidate splurged beyond even the wildest plutocrat's dreams. That leaves us with potentially even more stories about Saks Fifth Avenue in the coming weeks. Joy.

Why can't we be more like Chuck Heath? He seems like a pretty down-to-earth guy who keeps coming out with some zingers such as this:

"Four state troopers still guard the governor 24 hours a day, Heath said — something Palin never had before.
And in a bit of familiarity, Heath said he brought a pot of moose chili to Palin's house this past weekend."

Drip drip drip

I've been waiting for a story like this for a while. Unfortunately, it wasn't during a debate, and he didn't do it on his opponent, which would have made the story priceless.

Here's the skinny - council member relieves himself on a crowd watching a Grateful Dead tribute band and gets arrested. Yeah, yeah, I know. The music's bad, but not that bad. Come on.

They charged the guy with simple assault. He probably won't get much time, if any. Hopefully, they'll have him clean Renta-Johns at Phish concerts. That's a double dose of punishment.

How about $150,000 in no clothes?

All right, we've all heard the stories about Sarah Palin's crazy $150,000 spending spree where she scoured the nation's hottest and hippest clothing stores for duds she didn't need and shouldn't have bought. Whatever the truth is, and it'll definitely come out as the weeks progress, I think we're all missing the big story.

That, of course, is the meeting once held in a hotel room where she trotted out in nothing more than a towel covering her and her hair.

"She told them to chat with her laconic husband, Todd. "I'll be just a minute," she said," this Newsweek article reports.

Hot.

The story is a great little piece of reporting, gathering tidbits about both campaigns and then keeping them hidden until after the election. I like it because it gets past all the BS of debates, arguments, policies and horribly negative TV ads to give us the real candidates.

This is who they are behind the, um, shower curtain. Obama is quoted off the cuff about answering a debate question, calling it stupid and wishing he could tell the questioner his real thoughts. We hear about the McCain camp's displeasure with Palin's decisions (reports we'll definitely hear more on in the coming weeks).

I want more stories like this, MSM. And I want more stories about Palin in various states of undress from reputable sources such as Larry Flynt.

Dear wackjob conservative

If you're reading this, McCain has recently lost the presidential election and you're probably feeling a little blue. This missive is intended to cheer you up, and turn that sense-of-entitlement frown upside down!

Don't think of Obama's win as a negative. Instead, it's an opportunity to attack the new president for the next four years! Remember - it's patriotic to smear the president when he's a Democrat! Republicans still retain their stranglehold on defining patriotism, and especially picking out who's a true "patriot" and "American." That should make those sweet, sweet tears of defeat taste a little less bitter!

Also, don't toss away fear as an essential tool in bending voters to your will. Fear was your greatest ally from 2002-2004 and only started losing its saber edge in the past few years. Concepts such as "hope," "change" and "civil rights" are mere catchphrases that will wither as the years pass. Hold onto your xenophobia, your distrust of the lower classes and your general distaste for anyone who doesn't have a fanatic devotion to your beliefs. You'll be the better conservative for it!

In closing, continue to wrap yourself in the American flag while denouncing those who don't agree with you, minorities and the French. Remember when we renamed french fries "freedom fries?" Those were the days!

Sincerely,

The winners

The past is funny

The Onion does this shtick all the time - mocking the past by comparing it with the present. Usually it's done in the context of talking about Texas Instruments being the most cutting edge in technology. Tonight, we do it with a piece from foxforum that's a few hours old. Enjoy:
"For several months now, before the polls were in a dead heat, before Joe the Plumber, before Obama let it slip he’s a socialist with Marxist tendencies, even before he revealed his plan to make the bitter and clingy unemployed by bankrupting the coal industry, I have been predicting a McCain win on November 4th. Now, as the campaigning comes to a close, I am more confident than ever."
You lose.

Obama's speech

It's easier to be nice when you win, but you'd think it was tough with all the negative ads that have been flying around. Still, Obama, like McCain, take the high road once all the shouting's over.
He's giving his speech right now. It's obviously planned, carefully crafted. We can only hope he makes such careful plans when he holds the highest office in the land.
Watching the speech, I thought of the plan the Founding Fathers must have had when building the nation's foundations. It's a nice thought that the government they built more than 200 years ago continues today. That, hopefully, it'll continue for years after we're all dead.
And, of course, I hope that politicians continue using an ending phrase that's become required in speeches: God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

McCain concedes

He's giving his speech right now, and it's pretty touching. Not surprising. Regardless of what you think of the guy, McCain has class. It's a strength in this country that two opposing sides can battle for more than a year, without blood, and then on the final day give up the race without a bullet fired.
That's a fairly cheese statement that's been made before, given. But it's true. Both McCain and Obama fought to get where they are right now, and it wasn't a happy trip. To be able to bow out after the hate that's been spilled across papers and televisions is really a class act.

Virginia goes Obama

Looks like Virginia is going for the Democrat. The American map is pretty much filling out exactly as the polls said they would.
This makes a studious savant of politics wonder - why do "insiders" often claim they have access to polls us peons don't get? McCain's internal polls showed something different from what all of us saw, and his polls are proving wrong. Rove did the same thing in 2006, pretty much mocking an NPR commentator with his puny, for-the-public polls.
I'm not saying Democrats should have started measuring the drapes, but it looks like it wasn't a waste of time.

Ohio becomes concrete

The status of one of the biggie states is solidly for Obama. Ohio has been called for the Democrat by the likes of Yahoo! and fivethirtyeight. I think if Florida goes Obama, then McCain needs to take a deep breath and pick up the phone for probably the toughest call he'll ever make.
Never one to shy away from analyzing something far too early, it looks like the economy is what tugged on people's minds this election. Four years is a long time in politics and the war in Iraq just doesn't have the same effect anymore.
Neither does fear.

And it plays out

It's 9:30 p.m. Georgia time right now, and the polls are rolling in faster than expected. Many thought there'd be people standing in long lines at the polls way past 7 p.m. They were in other states, but if you check the Georgia Secretary of State's Web site, things are well underway.
So, what have we learned at this point - things are going pretty much as fivethirtyeight predicted. For the past week, I've thought that if Obama took Ohio or Florida, the race was his. At least one media outlet has already called Ohio for Obama. We'll see if that theme plays out as the pundits expect.
For those of you with cash on McCain, don't hand over your dollars yet. It's still early.

And now, it starts

As I write this, it's close to four hours before the hamlet of Dixville Notch, New Hampshire, holds its world renowned midnight voting. The tiny town of about 75 people will meet at The Balsams, take about a minute or so to vote and then release the results.

What does this mean for you, the viewer? Thankfully, the beginning of the end of this seemingly never ending campaign season. Grab a glass of port, fire up the PC and watch for the town's returns to hit the Internet.

Then grab some sleep and wake up early enough to get to your poll. In Georgia and Alabama, you're likely in for a wait.

Be sure to check back with me Tuesday throughout the night. I'll be working late and blogging whenever I catch a free moment.

A few good yuks

So, John McCain appeared on SNL and got some laughs. I just finished watching the "Weekend Update" clip and I have to say, it's pretty good stuff. Saturday Night Live is usually a good waste of 90 minutes, but they've been sharp with their politics this season. I'll give credit where it's due.

Appearances such as these make an already dirty campaign feel just a little bit cleaner. Many have remarked in news stories and blogs about the deteriorating nature of American politics. Face it, people are getting nastier and more polarized. Gone is the agreement to disagree or the ability to hold a rational debate of ideas. Instead, it's yelling, attacks on your opponent's intelligence and a general "us versus them."

I vaguely referenced a week or so ago on this blog about Berkeley Breathed's decision to stop writing "Opus." His reason - the sad state of discourse in this country and where he thinks it's heading.

Being willing to take yourself down a few notches, appear on SNL and cut a few jokes while others playfully make jokes about you is a dying art. McCain might not win on Tuesday, but he's won some respect. How many of us would stand before the American viewing audience?