Stealing thunder

The Obama train has been going nonstop this week with the DNC in full swing in the mile high city - and rightfully so. The Republicans will get their convention soon enough and the media will swoon like Southern belles when McCain and crue take center stage.

But what's this? A skillful maneuver by the Republicans to get a little attention during the Dems week to shine? Looks like it. Everyone's whispering about McCain's pick for veep. McCain tells the media that he hasn't made up his mind, and people start whispering even louder.

So who's it going to be? Lieberman, Romney, a dark horse whose name hasn't yet emerged? I'm not sure it matters. All the potential picks I've seen are a yawn fest, and I'm not sure he could stop the momentum Obama has even if he picked Batman as his running mate.

Seriously, the Republican party is picking a platform that consists of making abortion and stem cell research illegal. Maybe that makes your hardcore constituency happy, but I'm willing to bet a majority of the American people roll their eyes at those choices. Obama's got the theme, the momentum and for a change, he's energized his party into a frenzy that's going to slam the polls come Nov. 4.

McCain's got people whispering.

Congrats, George

The municipal election in Selma, Ala., happened Tuesday and there are some pretty big changes in their local government that Ruben might not like. Incumbent Mayor James Perkins Jr., who's been in office since 2000, was defeated by around 56-43 percent of the vote by Council President George Evans. Perkins, as you well know, booted Mayor Joe T. Smitherman out of office in 2000. Smitherman had been mayor since before you were born.

Other changes that happened that you might not know/care about: Perkins' supporters on the council, Jannie Venter and Johnnie Leashore, were defeated.

Maybe some long overdue changes can now occur once the new regime takes power in November. Hint: Water board members shouldn't make thousands of dollars a year.

For the Montgomery Advertiser's story on the election, check out this article.

Michelle, my belle

How about that Michelle Obama, huh? Yeah, I bet you're thinking like me after that sweet speech she gave. Took ya long enough, but now you know she's as American as apple pie and H-bombs. Yeah.

On a vaguely more serious note, how much reality should we really expect from our national politicians, especially at a presidential convention? Zero. Figures such as Obama and McCain are real behind closed doors with their confidantes, or when you catch them swearing when they think the microphone's off, but all of this is little more than a poor play where people strut and fret across a red, white and blue stage.

Michelle Obama talked about her husband as a guy with the American dream and someone regular folks like you and me can trust. Wow. What did you think she'd say? This isn't the time to wear your mismatched Converse and tell the American people you want to write poetry when you grow up. This is straight from a playbook and Acts I through V say, "Give 'em what they want." No surprises, cute kids telling their dad they love him and the fat, old loveable Kennedy tottering across the spotlight when his handlers tell him it's time.

Perhaps we should look to Entertainment Tonight to learn what this convention is really about. If you want substance, you need to pore over bills and laws and things that bore most Americans. If you want to know what's the hottest potential first lady fashion, look no further than the DNC.

And lemme tell ya, sweetie, pants suits aren't in.

When delegates attack

So the Democratic convention's finally getting its feet off the ground. Truly, an awe-inspiring feat of logistics and management is taking place in Denver right now. And booze. Lots of politicos drinking booze.

And while everyone's basking in the aura of an Obama presidency, I have to wonder about all the upset Hillary supporters, many of whom are still cranky their candidate didn't get the nod. Some have openly said they'll support McCain when they vote. Some of those smart-thinking delegates got their tickets revoked.

But what about the ones who still secretly harbor their angst and plan to use it to highlight their displeasure when the time ripens? And the pro-Hillary rally scheduled for later this week? If I were media in Denver, I'd make sure to get angry Hillbots on camera. Nothing like conflict to make a story better.

And booze.

Biden his time

Man, how long have we been waiting for one of the prez candidates to finally announce their pick for veep? I, for one, have been absolutely sleepless in mock anticipation of this lofty act.

So, now that Obama's tapped Joe Biden as his vice president to be, let's take a look at this guy. Shoots his mouth off, has lots of experience in the Senate, good foreign relations credentials, has said a few negative things about Obama, knows how throw a good punch at Republicans.

The good appears to outweigh the bad. I mean, really, so he said some time ago that Obama wasn't ready for the country's top spot. That was before he was picked as veep! You have to let these little things slide. Barack did.

Now, of course, all good Democrats have to worry about the Hillary factor. There's still a whiny contingency of Hill supporters that refuse to fall in line behind the standard bearer and are making noise about voting for McCain in protest.

To these misinformed and misguided individuals, I say: The DNC knows who you are. Expect it most when you expect it least.

Next up: Who's McCain going to pick!? And will he, too, wait until 3 a.m. to announce it?

Sex and the Cheney

I'm back from my two weeks of respite and am ready to start talking smack. I know, I've missed a few things while sipping on gin and juice, so he's a quick recap of news that I care about:

John Edwards sleeps around. Hey, who knew? The Enquirer, that's who. You read it here eighth - the former senator and vice presidential and presidential candidate was caught playing catch the persimmon with a campaign worker and finally came out to the public about his infidelities. Maybe the MSM will take a hint and start reporting news before the tabloids beat them to it. Ya hear me, LA Times?

Negatives from the affair: Say goodbye to a position in Obama's administration.

Potential positives: At least he wasn't sleeping with a guy...

Howard Dean calls the Republican Party "white": Heh. The truth hurts, don't it? Like all us loony liberal reporters didn't know this already. Fox News gets wind of this and starts spouting off a "fair and balanced" review of Dean's remarks. Yeah. Let's put this down where the goats can get it - Dean quipped off a one-liner that hit a little too close to reality and some people started whining. Suck it up, conservatroids, and go back to your frilly little drinks with umbrellas in them.

Negatives: Not very PC, Howie.

Positives: More sales of drinks with umbrellas in them.

Johnny Depp to portray sex pot Dick Cheney in movie that occurs in Bizarro World: Dream on, Romeos.

On vacation

I'll be on vacation for the next couple of weeks, and unfortunately won't be updating my blog terribly regularly. However, when time permits, I will post a witticism or two as is my wont.

I know many of you would like to take this opportunity to roll and/or egg my house. No problem. My residence can be found at 510 10th St. here in Columbus. Be sure that the eggs are really rotten.