President Obama

The inauguration is one of those moments where people stop what they're doing and watch what's going on. You want to see the candidates raise their hands, take an oath and become the next executives of America.

I sat in the east wing of the Columbus Government Center watching the swearing-in and Obama's speech. Of course, it was full of rhetoric, but that's to be expected. The real test will be when Congress starts pushing legislation the White House doesn't like.

That could be a few days, even weeks. But Obama won't have a long honeymoon, and he knows it.

Obama Watch (tm) - just two hours away!

Obama Watch (tm) - where the disinterested join the ranks of the impolitic.

Did you see this story about Bush and Cheney's portraits getting removed from all federal buildings around noon today? Ya gotta love it when a plan comes together. Moving all the Bush stuff out of the White House in six hours and all the Obama stuff in takes a mammoth effort, but I like to think getting 9,000 pictures across the country removed at around the same time is just as difficult.

They say they'll be destroyed, you know, so people like you can't get a hold of them and use them for nefarious purposes. But how tough will it be to ensure every single portrait is disposed of this way? Could some federal worker be bribed to hand over a picture late tonight? Could some sneaky ninja purloin a portrait under the watchful eye of bailiffs?

Look on eBay in the coming weeks for stolen goods.

Obama Watch (tm) - Commie mutant traitor!

Obama Watch (tm) - keeping you misinformed for a good 20 or so hours.

Was there ever any doubt? Here Barack Obama is, talking about volunteerism as if he were Karl Marx! Just look at this lead from the Yahoo! news story:

"Barack Obama stood at the threshold of the White House on Monday, summoning fellow Americans to join him in service as tens of thousands flocked to the nation's capital to celebrate his inauguration as the first black president."

Are you actually asking me, a lazy American, to spend my free time doing something good for king and country? Hey, I gave the charity of my choice thirty bucks at Thanksgiving. What more do you want?

I think the answer to that question is pretty obvious: Obama wants a nation of card-carrying, "Communist Manifesto" loving, telekinesis-wielding, socialist-leaning commies willing to open the borders and give away our jobs to terrorists! The next thing you know he'll be OPENING THE NINTH GATE UNDER THE SEAL OF SHUGGOTH TO ASOASOPTNAPISDHGA;OSIDGA[OEA[OI

Obama Watch (tm) - just 18 hours until the big event!

Obama Watch (tm) - OMG!!!! shushhhhhh!!!!

Obama Watch (tm) - your guide to meaningless drivel.

With less than 24 hours until Obama becomes president, Joe Biden's wife reveals the unthinkable on Oprah - backroom political deals exist!

Yes, it's true! Obama offered Biden his pick of the litter: Secretary of State or the veep slot. And we, the people, were clueless! It's just another example of big politics keeping big secrets in a big closet that big Americans know nothing about!

On another note, did Joe really have to think about which one to take? Come on, of course he's going to go with being the vice president. It's better clout, more influence and a lot of steps closer to the Oval Office than being in the cabinet. Also, if Obama is a two termer, he's in a great spot to run for the big time in eight years.

Then again, he's around 66 right now, which would make him older than McCain was when he ran for president last year.

Obama Watch (tm) - we're a day away

Thanks for tuning back in to Obama Watch (tm) - your only source for pure-as-the-driven-cocaine coverage of America's newest president.

While this CNN story takes a few paragraphs to get to the meat of the story, it's a nice description of what goes on behind the scenes. We'll be watching Obama put his hand on a Bible at noon Tuesday and eating crumpets while close to 100 people move the Bush stuff out of the White House and the Obama stuff in.

Moving has always been a chore for me and everyone I've ever encountered on this planet. Who likes to move? No one. That's one reason why this story appeals to me.

Obama and Bush leave the White House at 11 a.m. Tuesday and head out for the inauguration. Bush's stuff is in his house. When Obama returns at 6 p.m. that day, it's his house and all his stuff is in place. Clothes in the closet, favorite cereal in the kitchen.

I would say sign me up, except you have to be the president for the gig and I don't want to deal with all the baggage that comes with it.

Obama Watch (tm) - about two or so days away

Welcome to Obama Watch (tm) - the keen person's view into the events leading up to Barack Obama's inauguration as president.

Obama Watch (tm) is an ongoing series filled with stories and anecdotes about the president elect, the festivities surrounding his inauguration, the swearing-in itself and whatever happens to be on my mind as I wait for my martini glass to chill.

You know, as a card-carrying liberal, I'm pretty much required by unseen forces to listen to NPR. Just today, as I was driving away from my volunteer work with vegetarian atheist gun haters, I heard a story about Obama's option of either swearing an oath or making an affirmation.

The option to affirm, as it turns out, comes from Quakers who were pretty serious about not swearing anything. You can see the option to affirm everywhere; it's not just for the sweet offices like president. Local judges, council members and people on the witness stand across the country have the chance to affirm.

The story, however, didn't really dig into the meat of the issue, which is - why is Obama choosing to use his middle name of HUSSEIN when he takes the oath?

Jimmy Carter didn't use it. Neither did Reagan. So why does our newest president feel obligated to say it? Is it because of his secret Muslim roots? Or maybe it's the code word his handlers have implanted in him that, when said at the right moment, will flip the control switch in his mind and make the president of the United States nothing more than a puppet of foreign powers!

If the letters in his middle name are converted to the appropriate numbers, they add up to a numerological construct often used in Masonic rituals, as well as in the Skull and Bones. Perhaps this is why Obama has until this point REFUSED TO TALK ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT'S PLAN TO RELEASE AZATHOTH FROM TEH ALKST;LAA;LKSHDG;LKHASG;HAS

Tune in tomorrow, when Obama Watch (tm) gets a new writer!

America!

This is why our country is great. Long live freedom and the American way!

Just think of it - in some countries, people can't sell their virginities to the highest bidder. Not here, though. We live in the best country in the world. This is where laws are made to serve the populace, not the other way around.

Of course, there's always someone trying to impose their will on the free. Like Buzz Killington from this story, Mathew Staver, director of the Liberty Center for Law and Policy.

Staver thinks Nevada's always been out of touch with the rest of the country on morality. He thinks people don't want to see Nevada's nefarious ways spread throughout our great nation.

Well, I've got two words for Staver - states' rights! Ya don't like it, go live in Alabama. You can close down all the sex shops you want there, but leave Nevada's brothels alone!

And the icing on the cake of this young woman's courageous choice to sell her body is that prosecutors on all different levels of government don't want to fool with it. That's because Natalie Dylan, whose real name is being withheld for pretty obvious reasons, is advertising something where it's legal and will perform the act where law allows.

Dylan's choice to sell her virginity for money that she intends to use for higher education is a freedom all Americans should rejoice in. We truly are blessed to hold citizenship in a country where this behavior can make national news in a free press that can use the words "sells virginity online" in its headline.