Why blogs suck

Sure, blogs are fun if you want to want to check on your favorite TV shows or you just like stalking some co-worker's ex-girlfriend, but let's get serious here - they're not for real news.

Look at this article, which makes the MSM outlets that carried the original stories look like chumps. Somebody claims Sarah Palin wouldn't know Africa from Chad, and the whole thing gets splayed across the net. Problem is, it's not true.

It's like Daily Kos, the uber liberal blog that loves to talk smack about any and everything anti-conservative and anti-Republican. My liberal friends (me, with liberal friends?) loved the story about Trig, Palin's newest child, actually being her daughter's. Sites like Daily Kos put it online and helped spread the misconception around. People are still spouting off about the "news" and I bet some of you out there still refuse to believe that it might have been false.

Here's a gem of wisdom for all you blog kids out there - just because it's online doesn't make it true.

The Africa debacle, Trig's true mother and other mindless pieces of gossip only hurt the public discourse. Some may continue to say that newspapers are dinosaurs and should quickly follow their example, but the foolishness that some blogs put out there proves that wrong.
People still need a credible news source that provides information upon which they can rely upon again and again. Some blogs can do this; most can't.

Contrary to popular belief, disseminating BS doesn't equal news.

You've got a winner here, Athens

Just when you thought it was safe to engage in thoughtful political debate ...

... Georgia Rep. Paul Broun, R-Athens, steps into the field and lobs this one:

"It may sound a bit crazy and off base, but the thing is, he's the one who proposed this national security force," Rep. Paul Broun said of Obama in an interview Monday with The Associated Press. "I'm just trying to bring attention to the fact that we may — may not, I hope not — but we may have a problem with that type of philosophy of radical socialism or Marxism.

"That's exactly what Hitler did in Nazi Germany and it's exactly what the Soviet Union did," Broun said. "When he's proposing to have a national security force that's answering to him, that is as strong as the U.S. military, he's showing me signs of being Marxist."

Really, Paul, do you think that might sound a little silly and off base? Ya think it might sound like someone on the losing side who's grasping at hair-thin straws while raving like a rabid dog that got kicked real hard on Nov. 4?

It doesn't sound like that to these winners, who believe Broun has tapped into an undercurrent of fear with his statements. Yeah, Obama got more than 300 electoral votes because he used fear as a razor-sharp tool to gain the highest office in the nation.

Listen people - fear as a method of controlling the American electorate is over. Broun and others need to realize that it doesn't work anymore.

Sure, he won his re-election hands down. Congrats. Welcome to the minority. You just talked smack about the very president-elect you're going to have to work with if you ever want to accomplish anything in Congress.

Pallin' around with Palin

Nothing makes a story better than getting a homespun quote from some politician's family member. In our latest example - Chuck Heath, father of Sarah Palin. Heath was recently contacted about the sticky "Palin spent $150,000 of RNC money on clothes issue" and he had this to say:

"She was just frantically ... trying to sort stuff out," Heath said. "That's the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for."

If anyone should know about losing underwear, it's a politician. Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig ... hey, join the club.

What it comes down to is this - the RNC will get its money back, or Palin will reimburse them, or they'll go to a charity or maybe even back to the stores where they were bought.

There may be some of you who think this is a non-story and that the media is picking on Palin. Those who think this are wrong. This is a story because an exorbitant amount of cash was spent on terribly expensive clothes, and it appears the candidate splurged beyond even the wildest plutocrat's dreams. That leaves us with potentially even more stories about Saks Fifth Avenue in the coming weeks. Joy.

Why can't we be more like Chuck Heath? He seems like a pretty down-to-earth guy who keeps coming out with some zingers such as this:

"Four state troopers still guard the governor 24 hours a day, Heath said — something Palin never had before.
And in a bit of familiarity, Heath said he brought a pot of moose chili to Palin's house this past weekend."

Drip drip drip

I've been waiting for a story like this for a while. Unfortunately, it wasn't during a debate, and he didn't do it on his opponent, which would have made the story priceless.

Here's the skinny - council member relieves himself on a crowd watching a Grateful Dead tribute band and gets arrested. Yeah, yeah, I know. The music's bad, but not that bad. Come on.

They charged the guy with simple assault. He probably won't get much time, if any. Hopefully, they'll have him clean Renta-Johns at Phish concerts. That's a double dose of punishment.

How about $150,000 in no clothes?

All right, we've all heard the stories about Sarah Palin's crazy $150,000 spending spree where she scoured the nation's hottest and hippest clothing stores for duds she didn't need and shouldn't have bought. Whatever the truth is, and it'll definitely come out as the weeks progress, I think we're all missing the big story.

That, of course, is the meeting once held in a hotel room where she trotted out in nothing more than a towel covering her and her hair.

"She told them to chat with her laconic husband, Todd. "I'll be just a minute," she said," this Newsweek article reports.

Hot.

The story is a great little piece of reporting, gathering tidbits about both campaigns and then keeping them hidden until after the election. I like it because it gets past all the BS of debates, arguments, policies and horribly negative TV ads to give us the real candidates.

This is who they are behind the, um, shower curtain. Obama is quoted off the cuff about answering a debate question, calling it stupid and wishing he could tell the questioner his real thoughts. We hear about the McCain camp's displeasure with Palin's decisions (reports we'll definitely hear more on in the coming weeks).

I want more stories like this, MSM. And I want more stories about Palin in various states of undress from reputable sources such as Larry Flynt.

Dear wackjob conservative

If you're reading this, McCain has recently lost the presidential election and you're probably feeling a little blue. This missive is intended to cheer you up, and turn that sense-of-entitlement frown upside down!

Don't think of Obama's win as a negative. Instead, it's an opportunity to attack the new president for the next four years! Remember - it's patriotic to smear the president when he's a Democrat! Republicans still retain their stranglehold on defining patriotism, and especially picking out who's a true "patriot" and "American." That should make those sweet, sweet tears of defeat taste a little less bitter!

Also, don't toss away fear as an essential tool in bending voters to your will. Fear was your greatest ally from 2002-2004 and only started losing its saber edge in the past few years. Concepts such as "hope," "change" and "civil rights" are mere catchphrases that will wither as the years pass. Hold onto your xenophobia, your distrust of the lower classes and your general distaste for anyone who doesn't have a fanatic devotion to your beliefs. You'll be the better conservative for it!

In closing, continue to wrap yourself in the American flag while denouncing those who don't agree with you, minorities and the French. Remember when we renamed french fries "freedom fries?" Those were the days!

Sincerely,

The winners

The past is funny

The Onion does this shtick all the time - mocking the past by comparing it with the present. Usually it's done in the context of talking about Texas Instruments being the most cutting edge in technology. Tonight, we do it with a piece from foxforum that's a few hours old. Enjoy:
"For several months now, before the polls were in a dead heat, before Joe the Plumber, before Obama let it slip he’s a socialist with Marxist tendencies, even before he revealed his plan to make the bitter and clingy unemployed by bankrupting the coal industry, I have been predicting a McCain win on November 4th. Now, as the campaigning comes to a close, I am more confident than ever."
You lose.